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General Information:

The word "us" refers to John and those with him and does not include Gaius. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-exclusive)

congregation

This refers to Gaius and the group of believers who met together to worship God.

Diotrephes

He was a member of the congregation. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/translate-names)

who loves to be first among them

"who loves to be the most important one among them" or "who loves to act as though he's their leader"