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General Information:

In 11:4-17 is a story about two shepherds. Possible meanings are 1) Zechariah actually became a shepherd over a flock as a symbolic act showing how Yahweh will treat his people or 2) Zechariah tells a parable that teaches how Yahweh will treat his people. Since it is uncertain which of these meanings is correct, it would be best not to specify either option in the translation. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/translate-symaction and rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-parables)

watch over the flock set aside for slaughter

"take care of a flock of sheep that the owners plan to slaughter"

are not punished

This can be stated in active form. AT: "no one punishes them" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-activepassive)

the inhabitants of the land

"the people of the land"

this is Yahweh's declaration

Yahweh speaks of himself by name to express the certainty of what he is declaring. See how you translated this in Zechariah 1:4. AT: "this is what Yahweh has declared" or "this is what I, Yahweh, have declared" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-123person)

See!

"Listen!" or "Pay attention!"

I myself

The word "myself" is used to emphasize that it is Yahweh who will do these things. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-rpronouns)

turn over every person into the hand of his neighbor and into the hand of his king

Here "hand" represents power or control. AT: "allow the people to harm each other and the king will oppress them" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-metonymy)

none of them will I deliver them from their hand

Here "hand" represents power or control. AT: "I will not save them from those who are harming them" or "I will not rescue them" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-metonymy)

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