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making one sound to be heard for praising and thanking Yahweh

This can be stated in active form. AT: "making one sound as they praised and thanked Yahweh" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-activepassive)

raised their voices

This is an idiom. AT: "sang loudly" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-idiom)

for his covenant loyalty endures forever

The abstract noun "covenant loyalty" can be stated as "faithful." AT: "for he is faithful forever" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-abstractnouns)

Then the house, the house of Yahweh, was filled with a cloud

This can be stated in active form. AT: "Then a cloud filled the house of Yahweh" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-activepassive)

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