en_obs-tn/content/28/03.md

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the young man said, “I have obeyed all these laws ... still need to do in order to live forever?”

This is a direct quotation. It can be stated as an indirect quotation: “the young man said that he had obeyed all these laws ever since he was a boy, and asked what he still needed to do in order to live forever.” (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-quotations)

ever since I was a boy

Another way to say this would be, “from the time I was a child until now.”

What do I still need to do

That is, “What else do I need to do” or, “What do I need to do in addition to these”

loved him

Jesus had compassion on him. Choose a word for love that is consistent with the kind of love God has for people.